You Cannot Sit Here

Posted: April 25, 2015 in Our Broken World

One more challenge of homelessness – the presence of being unwelcome.

As anyone who has met me knows, I simply sit on The Ave with my small sign that says ‘free meditation lessons’ and ‘ask me about enlightenment’. I do not ask for money – in fact I explicitly refuse to take money even when it is offered. I do not smoke, drink, do drugs, or bother anyone at all – ever. I simply sit there with my sign and speak with anyone who comes to speak to me – and I watch their eyes light up when they do.

So imagine the mild sense of irritation and the awareness of this irritation that arises within my mind when I am told that I cannot have my sign and may only sit for 30 minutes or less in one location. Then when I move to the sidewalk I am told by the police that I may not sit at all and that loitering is illegal. Ohhh yes, I can move to the park during the day if I wish, where there are no people. But my whole point for being on the street is to be visible – to share the truth of enlightenment – for free…

No one has to believe me when I lay claim to my own enlightenment – even when I explain that it is both everything and nothing at the very same time, and that it comes with a very specific, undeniable, divine calling from beyond that says that it is time to choose a new name. That it is the culmination of a continued deepening of experience that goes beyond logic and reason. That once you have it, no one can take it away from you – and that the process will continue deepening for the remainder of your life.

And so here I am, doing as I’ve been asked – but being chased away at every turn. And not just by property managers and law enforcement, but by every single person who is skeptical, hateful, jealous, and worse. Indeed, half of my days are spent dodging the darkness that arises from the confused minds of others while I continue to shine my light for them, hoping that it will illuminate their worlds, alter their perceptions, and change their orientation in the direction of love and kindness.

It is tiring work – and although I push through my own fear, uncertainty, and doubt, it begs the question ‘why do this to myself’? I gave up everything to come out here, to join the people on the street, and to share the truth that I have learned. The same truth taught by Jesus, the Buddha, and every other enlightened being that has ever arisen in the world – be love. I do so freely, asking for nothing in return, without expectation. But does it matter? Are we really so blind that we cannot even see the light when it shines?

The sadness that I carry in my heart for mankind is not the kind of sadness that pains the confused mind. Rather it is a deep and profound sense of parental disappointment expressed within the clarity of my own beingness. It is not a mind state, though it does give rise to mind states that I must resolve when they arise – like the desire to give up. How much easier would my life be if I just left and went into the forest – leaving the entire world to chew on itself in the darkness, to fester and boil.

And yet this is exactly what I cannot do – and what I will not give in to. Why? Because this is the apathy of which I’ve written extensively already. As a being of infinite love, I know that apathy only has the power we give it – and I refuse to give it power. I will stand here and tell you all – the entire world – do your worst! Chase me down, beat me down, tear me down with all that you have. And when the dust settles and I am still standing tall before you, take the time to listen to my words.

All that I have to offer is yours already. I am just here to give you the space to examine your own inner truths through a new lens; one that is absent of confusion, judgement, fear, uncertainty, and doubt. I do not blame you for hating me – for your attempts to return me to your world of pain and misery. Pay attention though and see what it is that I am doing – doing for you. How I speak, how I move, how I live, and what I do. Realize that I am here for you – and only for you – and that I love you beyond reckoning.

All I ask is that you take a moment to listen – and then take the steps in your own life that will lead you to the same place that I have found; a place where love, joy, and beauty permeate all things; where the mind becomes a gentle breeze rather than a chaotic maelstrom of nonsense. I am for real – and the sooner you realize that I am for real, the sooner you can begin to taste the truth on your own lips, clear your own mind, and open your own heart. May it be soon though – because I grow weary and the day is long…

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